I look forward to a time when birthdays are not so much stress. But, really who am I kidding?
As you all know, so far our only two children have their birthdays in January - Aidan on the 2nd and Sophie on the 30th. Aidan was very low stress. He was truly surprised when we pulled out a bunch of gifts for him and had a little cake and sang "Happy Birthday" to him. (Incidentally, his current way of saying "Happy Birthday" to people is "happy to you.") He couldn't believe the attention (as if he doesn't already get tons of it daily), and it actually took some coaxing to open each new gift. (This too shall pass). We had a lovely breakfast, followed by presents and cake, and then we headed off to Salt Lake to spend a couple of hours at Discovery Gateway, the new children's museum. Then we rushed back to Provo to get David to school on time. All in all, it was a lovely day.
The following Sunday, the 7th, we had a birthday dinner with David's family (with cousins and an Aunt and Uncle present, no less). Once again, Aidan thought it was bizarre, and, again, he needed to be coaxed into unwrapping his gifts. (Though, this time it was due to one gift particularly catching his attention over the others). The times were good, the cake was rich, I gained weight, etc. We had fun.
Just yesterday, we attended another birthday party, this time for Rachael and Annie. It was less work and less stress (at least for us - I can't speak for them), and it seemed to be a lovely time for all. Rachael is one of those cute people who doesn't mind most or all of her birthday gifts having a little more to do with another birthday than her own. What I mean to imply, and to inform those who don't know yet, is that Raydees is pregnant! And all of her gifts had something to do with the baby. She got maternity clothes, a body pillow, and some other baby stuff I can't remember right now; but she was as happy as a clam. Even though she's only 16 weeks, she is such a naturally skinny human being that she is already bumpy. I wish I had a photo. It is so cute!
Annie was herself, happy to share the spotlight with another on her birthday. It is charming, and don't tell anyone, but she had a big birthday this year. I won't say the number, but in the year she was born the CIA was established. How do you like them apples! And I gotta say, she looks good!
Now, I mentioned stress, and yet these previous birthdays have been low/no stress. BUT... the stress and excitement will come. So, if I took a survey today on the streets, I might ask the following question, "Is it more stressful to give a birthday party with a large number of guests, or to limit the guest list to 5 and force your daughter to choose?" I might put my vote in for the 2nd option after this week. I feel like I'm torturing her. Ironically, 3 of her 4 favorites are in kindergarten, and are older than her. This only presents a problem for scheduling the party because one of those three girls attends kindergarten in the morning, and the other two go in the afternoon. Also, on the following Saturday morning (an ideal compromise), her favorite friend will be out of town. But, we'll work that out, I believe.
The real stress for me comes when Sophie wants to fill that 5th guest spot, just because. We agreed that she'd just party with preschool friends at preschool (which is fine with the teacher), since a) her closest friends are not actually in her preschool class, and b) she couldn't possibly choose just 5 from that group. By the way, this is going to be a girly Princess party - no boys allowed, even if you adore a lot of the boys at church and school and would have so much fun playing with them. You're right, why am I concerned about this? It only facilitates narrowing the list down.
Still on the guest list - there are four girls in her church primary class, but she hardly knows any of them, and singling one out is hard, and when we do (I say, when, not if, because Sophie has made it clear that she plans to fill that last spot with mystery CTR 5 girl), we will have to be sneaky about it so as not to hurt the feelings of others. We'll have to sneak the invite to them after church on Sunday, so they don't get excited and tell the other girls. Sigh...
Okay, where is all of this anxiety of mine coming from? I'll fess up. I hate birthday parties with friends. I mean, I don't really. But I did not have luck with birthday parties as a child. I remember pictures from my 5th birthday (I think it was my 5th) in Lake Worth, Florida; and really all I remember is that I was bratty and thought that I should have everything at the party, even the guests' party toys! (Also, I was a crazily awkward little girl, and I don't think I looked very pretty in those pictures).
The pinnacle of disappointment for me with birthday parties, however, (and this is not family-only parties, which I love!) was some years later. Honestly, I don't know where we were - Connecticut, Florida? Can't remember the age, grade, or state. But, I wanted a birthday party, and I invited all of the kids in my class. I think it was at a park or something, and it would've been really fun. Instead, the number of guests that actually showed was --- you guessed it, one. (Okay, for those of you who guessed none, please don't ever tell me you guessed that, because I may faint from insecurity, UNLESS something like that happened to you, and I promise I'd take you in my arms and hold you and cry for awhile with you...)
It's okay. We made a fun day of it. I don't remember much else of the day, except that we spent some time with that girl and her family. But, only one guest actually showing. Yikes! Does it surprise anyone that I'm the most insecure correspondent ever, and that I'm completely weirded by those birthday parties my friends have where, say, 100 of their good friends show up. I don't know whether to go mute from confusion or turn green with envy.
So, I digress back to Sophie. She is so much like me, but I am hoping in the best ways. I don't think that my whole class hated me or anything. I actually doubt that I knew any of them that well. We moved quite a bit, we didn't do formal RSVP's for parents, the invites went out late, I just wasn't a popular kid, etc. Or maybe it was just the childhood of an awkward person. How terrifying it is to think that your little baby might face the same kind of rejection you once faced.
All I can say is, if Sophie continues to love others and herself the way she currently does, she'll have at least a few really good guests at her little parties. If she's anything like David and me, that will be all she needs.
