I do, but that doesn't mean my life as a nursing mother is fun. Here's what breastfeeding means for me:
-Yeast: I have never nursed a baby and not had yeast in my milk ducts early on. The word is "ouch." Yeast makes for extra gassy babies (as if newborns weren't gassy enough) with painful raised rashes (if you aren't careful and using a ton of Bag Balm and Desitin) and usually white patches in the mouth and a "milk" tongue. It also brings along with it a sensitive, painful chest (I'm avoiding using the "n" word) and shooting pains while nursing and during letdown. It is hard to eradicate as Mom and baby must be treated concurrently and often end up reinfecting each other. You also have to use lots of bleach and/or vinegar when washing clothing and towels that come in contact with those areas, or those articles will reinfect you. Oh, yeast is loads of fun!!
-Dietary limitations: In order to decrease the risk of yeast, or to increase the chance of full recovery, I must limit sugar consumption. Amazingly, when I get stressed, I crave sugar. (Or is that the yeast causing the craving? I don't know.) We tried sugar-free candy, but I must have an allergy or something. On a couple of evenings after eating Sugar-free Twizzlers, I had such severe gas pains that I was bent over and unable to move for awhile. It was a little scary.
This sugar limitation is in addition to my avoidance of dairy and peanut butter until Ian is at least 3 months old. My last baby had bloody stools when I ate these foods, and I don't want to risk it this time. We'll see how things go when he's 12 weeks. So you know those reasonably healthy, quick foods that you can pull together in a pinch, like Ravioli for dinner or cheese sticks and yogurt for snacks? No can do.
-Immodesty: Back to the yeast thing - gotta get air. No I'm not doing the Brazillian beach thing and going topless (like you need that image in your head). I just have to limit the number of layers I'm wearing on top whenever possible. So, though I desire to get out and have more freedom, getting fully dressed for public often makes the problem worse. (Like when you've started Diflucin and start feeling better, and then you have four hours out on Sunday for church and choir, and you start feeling ouchy again on Monday? Hmmm...) I don't love it.
The rest of my challenges are the typical stuff: being a human pacifier, leaking a lot, lots of laundry to do (with fragrance free detergent, I must add), not being able to get out that much or share Ian responsibilities very much, waking after 3 or 4 hours of sleep panicking that my milk will dry up during the night if Ian sleeps too well. You know, the usual.
All of this makes a certain event this week even more exciting: Ian accepted a bottle from David on Wednesday! Sure it was only 1 ounce of breast milk, but hey, that still means we're starting to look at a little more freedom for me. Also, if it turns out that breastfeeding is robbing me of my sanity (don't worry, we're not there yet), then we have other options. Hurray!!!
Okay, okay... I have to mention the positive stuff. So far, it looks like there's plenty of milk, as he's gaining just fine and meets his diaper quota. (It's hard to tell, but he sleeps pretty well and looks a bit poochy). Also, he's really cute and loves to nurse. So he's pretty happy for now! You can't beat the price, and in our chaotic state, it helps to not have 50 bottles to wash every day. So, there I'm being positive!
Let's just hope we can get some of these other problems fixed. I'm dying for a big bowl of ice cream or a yummy P,B, & J!!
