I was glad I washed the kids before the appointment and didn't save it until after the appointment.
I didn't plan on being checked. Too many cervical checks can add unnecessary risk of infection or leaking. Besides, I haven't hit the due date yet, and, though I was sure that I'd dilated to at least 3 centimeters, I did not want to go on the emotional roller-coaster that is weekly cervical checks from different practitioners. The last time I went on one of those roller coasters (6+ years ago) I was told "a good 2 centimeters" at 38 weeks and then "just about 1 1/2 centimeters" at 39 weeks. Inaccuracy? Possibly. Slight regression in dilation? Also possible. (It does happen). Either way, it led to major depression and vulnerability to an unethical OB stripping my membranes without my knowledge or consent.
Sorry to be so graphic, by the way.
Anyway, the midwife and her current tag-along (a Nurse Practitioner in training) laid me back to listen to the heartbeat, and I was slightly flattered/uncertain when the midwife started asking me about my lipstick. I had a feeling she was warming me up for a little bad news. I also noticed that the "choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo" sound wasn't chugging along as fast as it usually did. "That doesn't sound right," I said. She agreed. So she ordered me a Non-Stress Test.
Okay, one of the many reasons I LOVE this OB/Midwives office is that their facility is all inclusive. They have the lab, ultrasound room, NST room, etc., all in one building. That wouldn't have meant as much to me with previous pregnancies. With Sophie and Aidan in tow, however, the less I have to travel, the better. So, we scooted off to the NST room where I settled in for 30+ minutes of reclining (which I hate) and stressing about the monitors that either kept sliding about or were shifting due to stretchy movements from the alien within.
I had another HUGE source of stress at this time (and I've yet to mention the nausea welling up in my stomach due to low blood sugar and anxiety for the well being of my baby) - Sophie and Aidan.
They are so cute, aren't they? Don't they just look like little angels sitting there on that bench? Well, those little angels are nightmarish little devils when they go to doctor's appointments for other people. It is really obnoxious. I don't think it's intentional. They're just really excited and really ready to explore.
I sat there in agony, sipping juice from the nurse and texting David with small details and hoping I'd hear from him soon, while watching my kids run from chair to chair, completely ignoring the video that the nice nurse set up for them, and closing curtains around each of the 3 NST compartments. Little bells were moved, and the taller of the two repeatedly ran in and out of the room between requests for permission to give the shorter one a sucker. All the while, my abdomen is gyrating, my stomach is churning in agony, and I'm staring anxiously at the screen trying to really understand what it is I'm supposed to be looking for.
To my relief, I finally reached David and helped him understand that I needed him. It turned out that the test looked great sometimes, but then there would be a variable (a drop in heart rate) here and there. So, I was told to get to the hospital within the next couple of hours for an extended Non-Stress Test. They also did an ultrasound to check the fluid. (He's fine. There was plenty.) David arrived just as the technician was trying to get a good 3-D shot of the baby's face (which, unfortunately didn't work out. It's okay - I think those 3-D shots look a little creepy).
David's mom was wonderful enough to pick up the kids for us so that we could grab some food (I was feeling pretty sick and anxious at that point) and head over, just David and I, to the hospital. The staff was great, the test was uncomfortable, and I cried a little from the anxiety for the baby and frustration over my inconsistent, weak contractions. (I just want to have my baby, and being in the hospital made it feel so close and yet so far away). After two hours of monitoring, they declared that the test looked great. His heartbeat was strong and doing all that it needed to do.
Of course, after this little scare, I'm due for an NST ever other day, just to play it safe. So, again David and I will make sure we're all set for a possible induction and hospital stay, and the Grahams are taking the kids again tonight. Our Thursday night date (we never have "Thursday night dates". For that matter, we rarely have "dates") will be David comforting me as I sit or lay in a less than comfortable position and pray that my little monkey isn't in there playing "Cat's Cradle" with his cord. My first son did have fun with his cord. I'm hoping this isn't a trend or something.
Incidentally, since there was a possibility of induction on Tuesday, they decided that we should have my cervix checked. The verdict then: "a good 4 centimeters and about 80% effaced." This means that induction, if deemed necessary, would likely go well. What does it say about when I'd actually go into spontaneous labor (should induction be unnecessary)? Absolutely nothing.
So if I seem a little moody or distracted these days, it's just me being on the "any day now" emotional roller coaster. Please be patient with me.
