Have you ever been mooned by someone who is less than a foot long?

I have, and I must say it's a surprisingly pleasant experience.

You see, we had our 20 week ultrasound today (even though I'm 19 weeks and 4 days), and our brilliant ultrasound technician was using her magic wand to determine the condition of our little bundle. After checking the heart rate and measuring the belly (and before doing all of the important medical stuff), she moved her wand around to get a little peak below (or in this case above, as he was "head down"). Well, it's a boy! As a matter of fact, it's so a boy that if for some reason this child came out with different parts, the office would have to return the machine for one doesn't detect imaginary appendages, the technician might be out of a job, or my child may the be greatest prankster of all time - capable of placing a hand or something else so perfectly as to trick us into thinking she had something that wasn't there... Nah! The technician would've caught the bones in the hand. Okay, so it's a boy.

Actually, I have to comment that it's just so funny how we get all excited to take a peak at parts that we are eventually determined to have private. I also think it's funny to compare the girl ultrasound to the boy ultrasound. When it's a girl, the technician has to point out these little lines to you, and you stare for a long time and think to yourself, "Okay, I guess. I mean, I think that makes sense." When you are having a boy, however, all the technician needs to do is give you a bottom view, and you feel a little embarrassed for the poor kid!

On a more important note (but a little less interesting, I know), he is looking healthy and well developed so far. The heart, spine, legs, head circumference, brain cortex, stomach, lips, fluid level, and heart rate all look lovely. So, thus far, we've nothing to worry about (or at least nothing we could doing anything about). And I must say that his profile and cheek bones look as lovely and tall as one would expect from a child of mine and David's. Let's just hope that these cute little monkeys of ours don't hate us for their noses and cheeks by the time they're 18! I fear that adolescence may be as unkind to them as it was to me.

Here's hoping you are all well and feeling grateful for your noses, cheekbones, hearts, spines, brain cortex's, head circumferences, stomachs, lips, and other, uh, unmentionable parts.

I'm so excited to be tagged, and I have no one to tag who hasn't recently been tagged by someone else...

But anyway, it has been about two months since I've posted anything. Sorry about that. While my dear friends and family would probably enjoy an update on our little clan (it's coming), I am delighted to accept a tag from one of my favoritest people who loves Hello Kitty. Anyway, little lamb, this one's for you:



Five Things I Was Doing Ten Years Ago:

1. Living in Jaro, IloIlo, the Philippines, and serving a mission for the LDS church.
2. Making a weekly treck to Sbarros with a bunch of white people to overpay for undercooked pizza and saucy pasta (the closest I could come to home).
3. Trying desperately to avoid aggressive and very unkind preachers from another Christian faith who stalked us with intent to argue about God, and who would not leave us alone - EVER!
4. Being told by a small, very dirty Filipino boy with black teeth that I had a very small chest.
5. Eating fried milkfish every week with calamansi juice mixed in soy sauce (yummy!), and fighting over the head with the Filipinas. (Many would argue that's better than my fettish for half-developed duck eggs).

Five Things On My To Do List: (Okay, I had to rewrite some of these items to make them sound more interesting, but the actions really are on my to-do list. For real.)

1. Write thank you notes to a bunch of people.
2. Call my visit teaching companion and visiting teachees, again.
3. Practice my recorder for a performance with friends at a Christmas party this Friday.
4. Do some laundry before we end up having to move to a nudist colony.
5. Return New Moon and Eclipse to my friend Holly. (I finished them in September.)

Five Snacks I Enjoy: (I'm going to list a few things that I'd like to enjoy but currently have to severly limit due to my pregnant state and my intense fear of eating too much sugar).

1. Twizzler cherry twisty ropes. (I know that Twizzlers are completely processed and everything, but I swear they put herion in their cherry flavored stuff or something. I just can't get enough of it).
2. Triscuits with chedder cheese and green olives with pimentos.
3. Almonds. The perfect food.
4. Nachos with plenty o' nacho cheese, very heavy on the jalapenos. (Makes my abdomen ache awhile later, but oh so worth it).
5. Cellas cherries made with dark chocolate alternating with Ferrero Rochers. One bite of cherry, one bite of hazelnut. Mmmmmmmmmmm...

Five Things I Would Do If I Were a Billionare:

1. Buy an energy efficient estate with an indoor swimming pool and a racquetball court.
2. Travel overseas at least once every other year, and visit far away family at least 3 or 4 times a year.
3. Replace our vehicles with hybrids.
4. Support the following individuals/organizations: LDS-missionaries from non-LDS families, public television, high quality local theatres, and various other charities
5. Save - I'd do what Tom Cruise does (according to Steve Martin): Every day I'd take a million dollars and just put it away, and at the end of the year, I'd have a little cushion. :)

Three of My Bad Habits:

1. Mulling over past painful experiences. (A rotten habit indeed).
2. Staying up too late.
3. Losing patience and yelling at my kids. (Even more rotten than #1)

Five Places I Have Lived:

1. The Philippines
2. Florida
3. Connecticutt
4. Louisiana
5. Utah

Five Jobs I've Had:

1. Underpaid actress in a union house
2. Compaq admin at Modus Media
3. Cafe worker at a natural foods store
4. Housekeeper at a bed-and-breakfast inn
5. Server at a Sizzler

Five Things People Probably Don't Know About Me:

1. Though I love performing, part of me wishes I had gotten a BA in Linguistics (studying at least Russian, French, and German).
2. I have a life goal to go back and read all of the classics, especially those I fudged with Cliff's Notes in high school. (I confess.)
3. When I'm stressed, half of my thoughts sound like an 'R' rated basketball movie.
4. I occassionally have nightmares about doing drugs or getting drunk, and I wake up terrified for the first few minutes.
5. If I do a show or a performing master class and am away from my children for very long periods of time, I cry A LOT.

I don't yet know who to tag, but I'll find someone. Hmmmm...

Blah blah blah

While the title of this post is a good description of most of my blog posts, it is actually intended to describe how I feel and not how I talk. I feel blah blah blah.

I won't go on and on about the constant nausea I'm faced with at this time. I won't weigh you down with how hungry I actually am since I only eat very small meals 3 times and day and just nibble on fruit or sip on flavored drinks the rest of the time, because eating full meals would be a waste of good food (I know from past pregnancies).

And why should I force to you relive my restless nights of tossing and turning from one side to another? (Laying supine only increases my nausea. Instead I must tightly hug a pillow into my belly and lay on either side - and I'm not a side sleeper). How insensitive and immature that would be!

Yes, there are so many wonderful women in the world who are unable to have children. Yes, I, unlike some of my relatives, only start feeling sick at 5 weeks and am done by 18 or 20 weeks. And yes, I have the cutest, most helpful husband on the planet who wakes up early enough each day to be with the kids and help Sophie get ready on school days. Finally, my children are so patient. They let me lay around while they play with each other or watch movies or PBS Kids (and they only make crazy messes about 70% of the time). I am truly blessed.

And I still feel sick. Thank goodness for you that I've decided to restrain myself and not complain too much.

Pre-emptive Update

I thought I should let my dear friends and family know before Sophie announces it to the rest of her neighbors, classmates, teachers, and church friends. I feel pretty icky, so it's kind of hard to hide.

In a much bigger version, it's easy to the see the little plus sign in the result window. But who wants to have a huge, oh so clear picture of a pregnancy test on their blog? Hopefully, it makes the point just the same.

So assuming nothing unfortunate happens with this pregnancy, here's evidence of Short Person #3 to come. (Sophie already calls him/her "little baby", but I prefer the name "lizard" - because that's how he/she looks right now).

I wish I could say that showing the positive pregnancy test as a means of announcing the condition is completely original, but this method was recently used by one of my best friends to announce her pregnancy to us. I'll flatter myself that I'm almost a clever as she is, though, since we used the same method in 2001 to announce our first pregnancy to local family members. We carried a printed up picture of the test to a family dinner, and passed it to members as we saw them. David's brother, Michael, particularly enjoyed the surprise. He said, "I looked down and thought, 'That's a cool toothbrush...uh, I mean, whoa!'"

In the meantime, here are some more promised photos of the family. Enjoy!

Sophie enjoyed using every single barrette to decorate her head. I actually thought it was pretty cool, but David was more practical minded and knew it would result in much hair loss when the barrettes were taken out. Sophie hasn't complained since, though, and her lovely head is still covered with many lovely, naturally highlighted locks.

This passed-out person was found on our upstairs couch after we went away to South Jordan in late July for a weekend. Apparently, Aidan got tired.

This last photo was taken on a beautiful Friday morning in August when David had just walked to receive his MBA from BYU. We were crazy proud of him, and he looked terribly handsome to me (as usual). I will not include any photos of me in a dress that I thought was flattering but was sorely mistaken. No big deal!

Anecdotes...

I just wanted to share some of these little anecdotes with you. Some of you may have heard these, but hopefully at least one will be new to someone. Here they are:

A few Saturdays ago, David was upstairs on the top level, Sophie and I were in the family room, and Aidan was alone in the playroom. I can only imagine that he was enjoying his knight's castle set (complete with little plastic battle axes), and Sophie's tiny princess dolls (what are knights without damsels, no?). Suddenly I hear Aidan have the following exchange with himself: "Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair to me!" (Large pause) "Okay!"

Last week, Aidan and I spent the morning in the office while I filed at least 6 months of old bills and important documents. I loved getting the huge job done, and Aidan loved playing preschool games on the computer with me only an arm's length away and willing to help at any time. When Sophie came home and joined us, Aidan started choosing more complicated games, and Sophie wanted to help. I wanted her to help, because I was just 30 minutes away from a more organized office than I'd had in ages. Sophie said, "Aidan, can I please help you?" I pleaded, "Aidan, will you please let Sophie help you with the game?" Aidan looked at each of us and then began to throw and huge, loud fit. Sophie's response to that: "I think that's a 'no.'"

On Monday evening, we were returning from a fundraiser spaghetti dinner for Springville High, and we got on the subject of Halloween costumes. David and I were making suggestions, and Sophie was expressing her interest and distaste at the ideas. Suddenly, Sophie got on the subject of scarecrows. "We should have a scarecrow. Mommy, if we ever have a garden, we should have a scarecrow." David suggested, "YOU should dress as a scarecrow" (clearly still thinking Halloween) to which Sophie responded, "Then I'd have to stay outside all night and all day."

And those are just the ones I can remember right now...

We're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Okay, I have to start by saying that the line which inspired that title ("They're baaaaack!" from Poltergeist 2) is one of the most ridiculous lines in the history of film. Okay, it's not like "Congo" ridiculous, but the first Poltergeist is such a classic; and putting that line in the second film felt like a mockery of the original film. Though I'm getting more sensitive to gore in my old age (couldn't stomach Pirates of the Caribbean 2, so I didn't even go to number 3), the first Poltergeist film is one of the greats to me. It's truly frightening, even with the cheap effects with the poor geeky scientist tearing his face apart while looking in the mirror, and eventually he's, WOW, a plastic skeleton with foam rubber on it. Pure genius! In truth, the second film was pretty good too (except for the cheap Hollywood line), though it kind of had a "suggesting Mormons" thing going with the evil self-proclaimed prophet who leads a bunch of pioneers into the desert only to bury themselves alive - just... creepy. Okay, so maybe I don't really like that one, but, hey, I'm a sucker for scary movies that leave you chilled (i.e. Poltergeist, The Mothman Prophecies) without having blasphemed against everything you believe in (i.e. The Exorcist - superior film making, yes, but in a word - evil).

Oh, I've missed blogging! To rejoice in the beauty of a great tangent, even before the blog has really started...

Anyway, I'm back. Did you miss me? Life has been wild, good, stressful, tiring, but we're doing pretty well, and I realized that I have no right to get impatient waiting for my friends' updates to their blogs if I'm unwilling to update my own blog (even if the audience is much smaller and will have to be formally invited back).

David had a wonderful trip to Europe (see photos), finished his MBA classes at the end of June, and walked in August. It was a special, rather early morning (the convocation exercise started at 8:00 AM). David looked very handsome in his cap and gown, and just being there to see him complete the journey was worth the early rise. (And his brother, Michael, was a godsend and a huge treat for the kids). It's great to have David home in the evenings and sleeping at normal hours. He's enjoying the change, and work is going pretty well for him; but it's pretty stressful too. As usual, though, he looks great.

Sophie and Aidan had a pretty good summer (though it felt eternal, really). They both started swim lessons, and Sophie progressed pretty well. (Note for next summer: Take the kids to a heated pool or sign up for classes at the latest hour in the hottest time of year - Aidan was a grumpy little popsicle and did not progress that much. But he did cling to me a lot, which is almost more pleasant in water than on land). We all played a million games together, read lots of books, watched appalling amounts of TV and children's film, and ate way too many otter pops (it was excessive). I hate otter pops now.

Now, Sophie is in kindergarten and is really enjoying it. I listen and empathize and try to minimize my advice when I hear about the saga of Andrew, Kelsie, and Sophie (kind of a little love triangle). Sophie is doing well, though, as Andrew clearly considers her a friend. Also, while Sophie thinks Andrew is swell, she does not openly profess it to the self-proclaimed shy man - a wise choice in any lady. I have yet to meet this Andrew, but I will volunteer at school tomorrow and may give a small update if there is anything interesting to say about him.

In the meantime, Aidan really loves Blue's Big Musical Movie (featuring Ray Charles as G-Clef, although my favorite song is "Steve's Got a Silly Hat" complete with a little flamenco dance by Steve), Dora the Explorer , and the "geletons" and "gary things" at Sam's Club and Walmart. If you give him the chance, he'll explain that the "geletons" don't say anything, and the "gary things" aren't really "gary." (Mommy just says they are for an effect).

By the way, potty training is not really a big concern of mine. And thank goodness for that because the initiative Aidan once had (of which I boasted) is gone. Maybe when I'm feeling daring I'll try the "let him run around with a naked bottom and see how that motivates him" method, but really why on earth would I do that? I'm sure I'll be the only one it motivates.

That's about it. Well that's not it, but do you really need to hear about how chaotically messy the house was for weeks and my not too occasional anxiety attacks OR my recent inability to stop obsessing over old friends and acquaintances who I was fine knowing nothing about and now learn that many have completely changed directions in their lives? So uninteresting to you folks, I'm sure. But, it's fall (hurray), and I hope to provide lovely Halloween photos before long and maybe a surprise or two by Christmas.

Oh, and P.S. - I'm totally going to start watching "Heroes" this year, because David is watching the season premiere even as I type this, and Sark from "Alias" is on it now. Really, who could possibly miss that? I swear it's not just about his looks. He's just fun. I almost said that it's cool how short he is and yet so confident; but then I checked IMDB, and he's 6 feet tall. Wow! I wouldn't be writing 'thank yous' to the camera man for that show.

Spring, American Idol, Classic Rock, Victor Frankl

There is so much to share after all this time. It's just nutty how you finish the holidays and think, "Gee, what a relief to finish that whirlwind season" only to realize within weeks that you've entered a new whirlwind. I'm not complaining, though. The faster and more meaningful these months are, the sooner I get to share more evenings with my snuggy husband. Yes, we are, as I'm sure I've previously mentioned (at least a million times), in the home stretch. Come April 1st and we have only three months remaining in David's EMBA program. I'm conveniently pretending that two of those weeks in May won't involve me going solo here whilst David will "toil" in Europe. (Long story...will share it another time).

After his classes are completed at the end of June, we plan to celebrate Independence Day (which will suddenly have a double meaning), enjoy a couple of normal weeks, and then take a lovely long drive to California to see family, friends, and...Buzz Lightyear, perhaps? Who knows what oversize, Spongy Disney character will come up and terrify my children in July, but I look forward to the inevitable snuggles that will result.

So, to the subject of this post, we are just two days from Spring, and Utah is taking this very seriously. This is also not a complaint. It is just gorgeous out here!! The tulips are so close to popping out their pretty little heads, and the sky is clear as...well day. We had an awkward little picnic on the grass today in our extremely and already slightly overgrown backyard, and I couldn't believe that it wasn't April yet. Of course it is so sun-drenched in the morning and early afternoon in our yard that we could probably start a tomato farm and open up a salsa plant. It might be wiser for me to tempt the kids with indoor activities until after 3:Pm so that we don't go broke from having to purchase gallons of sunscreen. Still, the excess of rays is a definite improvement over the windowless environment of our playroom, which now takes no less than two hours to clean due to WAY TOO MANY TOYS WITH ACCESSORIES. Did that sound overdramatic? You come on down and give it a shot! You'd go nuts (if your own children's accessories haven't already driven you so)!

On to the next subject: American Idol. What can I say? I'm sure it surprises no one that I LOVE American Idol. I didn't watch it very often during the first few seasons, but I got really hooked the year that Kim Underwood and Bo Bice were in the mix; and the rest is history.

For non-Idol-watchers, do you know who coached the contestants and then performed on Idol last week? THE Diana Ross. I don't know if my sister and Mom can remember, but I adored her as a child and used to play one of her albums over and over... What a legend! And those lucky contestants had the chance to be coached by her with her huge hair and slightly worn vocal chords. But, wow! It was exciting, and they have some truly sensational vocalists this year. I think Melinda Doolittle and Lakisha Jones are both worthy of winning, but I have a feeling Jordin Sparks, the AMAZING and gorgeous 17 year old sweetie, may give them a run for their money...unless the vocal coach they have for Idol doesn't ruin Jordin's technique. This may not mean much to anyone else, but something happened last year with Katherine McPhee that infuriated me to no end. When she entered the contest, she was solid and had fantastic, healthy technique, AND she sounded amazing. In the final six weeks that approached the finals she started to sing more and more like Leann Rimes, who, despite her resilience and natural talent, is a painfully unhealthy singer. (Well, I don't know how healthy her pipes actually are, but I just get a sore throat every time I hear her sing. Ouch!) Anyway, Jordin sounded ultra-strong and practically flawless to me every week before last, and then, oh so suddenly, she comes in with this heavy, hard sound, banging her chords against each other with such force... Am I boring you guys? Okay, I'll get off the voice teacher soap box. It's just annoying, and if another singer goes by the wayside as I felt Kat McPhee did, then I'll just have to sob for another fallen vocalist.

Do any of you know how much I really love 70's and 80's rock? A lot.

Finally, on to Victor Frankl: I read the most wonderful book last month, I would like to highly recommend it to everyone I love...which means you guys. It is called Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl, and it is such a powerful, amazing book. Frankl was a psychiatrist and neurologist who founded a form of therapy called "logotherapy." He was also a Holocaust survivor. You would expect his book, which chronicles and analyzes some of his experiences in the concentrations camps (he was in a few, I believe, including Auschwitz), would be a huge downer; but it was very, very inspiring. I would call his "logotherapy" therapy for those unwilling to pity themselves. Rather than focusing on the origin of trials and placing blame, he emphasized finding meaning in love and the unavoidable challenges in life, and taking responsibility for your choices and actions. It was just amazing, and I know I've failed to sell it. But if any of you have some time to spare (the book is a pretty easy and fast read), I doubt you'd regret it. Even if you're not big on self-improvement books (which this one hardly is - it's more of an inspirational/memoir/science book), I'm sure you'd be glad you read it.

I guess that's most of my update. Wait, I didn't say much about David and the kids. David is doing great and surviving his perpetually sleep deprived state with impressively good looks. :) He is also making a great impression on a number of classmates and co-workers, and it's opening some good doors for him. Since I don't know how much or how little to share (and I don't pretend to understand all of the doors that are opening for him), suffice it to say, he is doing very well, and we're so grateful for and proud of him.

Sophie continues to have a small crush on the 14/15 year old who lives across the street, named TJ (I'm sure she'll mention him to you sometime). She has expressed that she hopes to marry him someday when she's grown up, and we've gently explained that 10 years is quite a gap in age for a couple. I think I was exactly like her. I adored teenage boys when I was a little girl. Hey, I adored them when I was a big girl. I just really liked boys, and now I just like one (well, two - one tall and one rather short). Sophie is also really doing quite well at spelling. Often, if we ask her to do something, she responds with "N-O, M-O-M/D-A-D." It is a little hard to discipline when you are swelling with pride.

Aidan is so gorgeous that I sometimes want to eat him. He is also very fun and sweet. The other day David was video-taping him in the playroom playing with his Medieval Castle set. He was eating many knights and a marionette with a ferocious dragon and screaming joyously. He says many things, and is very self-motivated in toilet-training. He has been using the toilet at least a few times a day, at his own request, and we're applauding every little baby step. As always, he and Sophie love each other so much.

And I'm doing my thing. Cleaning, playing with kids, cleaning, reading with kids, cleaning, arguing with kids... You know, the usual. Then, in the evenings I relish the time to read, write in my journal (my new crush), and get on the elliptical or do some Pilate's while watching my shows. (Or I drag myself down to my cave to work on finances, etc.) I love it most of the time, and when I don't love it, I have some wonderful friends to laugh with over it. I love the women in my church ward. They are a blast, and I sneak out to as many Relief Society Activities as I can for the friendships.

I bet it sounds like I'm pretty blessed. I guess I am. Of course, the chances of me coming down here to update the blog while I'm going insane in the middle of a crazy week are pretty slim. So, let's say, I'm blessed, just like all of you, and I'm often stressed, just like all of you.

And I love and miss all of you. :)

Birthdays, birthdays...

I look forward to a time when birthdays are not so much stress. But, really who am I kidding?

As you all know, so far our only two children have their birthdays in January - Aidan on the 2nd and Sophie on the 30th. Aidan was very low stress. He was truly surprised when we pulled out a bunch of gifts for him and had a little cake and sang "Happy Birthday" to him. (Incidentally, his current way of saying "Happy Birthday" to people is "happy to you.") He couldn't believe the attention (as if he doesn't already get tons of it daily), and it actually took some coaxing to open each new gift. (This too shall pass). We had a lovely breakfast, followed by presents and cake, and then we headed off to Salt Lake to spend a couple of hours at Discovery Gateway, the new children's museum. Then we rushed back to Provo to get David to school on time. All in all, it was a lovely day.

The following Sunday, the 7th, we had a birthday dinner with David's family (with cousins and an Aunt and Uncle present, no less). Once again, Aidan thought it was bizarre, and, again, he needed to be coaxed into unwrapping his gifts. (Though, this time it was due to one gift particularly catching his attention over the others). The times were good, the cake was rich, I gained weight, etc. We had fun.

Just yesterday, we attended another birthday party, this time for Rachael and Annie. It was less work and less stress (at least for us - I can't speak for them), and it seemed to be a lovely time for all. Rachael is one of those cute people who doesn't mind most or all of her birthday gifts having a little more to do with another birthday than her own. What I mean to imply, and to inform those who don't know yet, is that Raydees is pregnant! And all of her gifts had something to do with the baby. She got maternity clothes, a body pillow, and some other baby stuff I can't remember right now; but she was as happy as a clam. Even though she's only 16 weeks, she is such a naturally skinny human being that she is already bumpy. I wish I had a photo. It is so cute!

Annie was herself, happy to share the spotlight with another on her birthday. It is charming, and don't tell anyone, but she had a big birthday this year. I won't say the number, but in the year she was born the CIA was established. How do you like them apples! And I gotta say, she looks good!

Now, I mentioned stress, and yet these previous birthdays have been low/no stress. BUT... the stress and excitement will come. So, if I took a survey today on the streets, I might ask the following question, "Is it more stressful to give a birthday party with a large number of guests, or to limit the guest list to 5 and force your daughter to choose?" I might put my vote in for the 2nd option after this week. I feel like I'm torturing her. Ironically, 3 of her 4 favorites are in kindergarten, and are older than her. This only presents a problem for scheduling the party because one of those three girls attends kindergarten in the morning, and the other two go in the afternoon. Also, on the following Saturday morning (an ideal compromise), her favorite friend will be out of town. But, we'll work that out, I believe.

The real stress for me comes when Sophie wants to fill that 5th guest spot, just because. We agreed that she'd just party with preschool friends at preschool (which is fine with the teacher), since a) her closest friends are not actually in her preschool class, and b) she couldn't possibly choose just 5 from that group. By the way, this is going to be a girly Princess party - no boys allowed, even if you adore a lot of the boys at church and school and would have so much fun playing with them. You're right, why am I concerned about this? It only facilitates narrowing the list down.

Still on the guest list - there are four girls in her church primary class, but she hardly knows any of them, and singling one out is hard, and when we do (I say, when, not if, because Sophie has made it clear that she plans to fill that last spot with mystery CTR 5 girl), we will have to be sneaky about it so as not to hurt the feelings of others. We'll have to sneak the invite to them after church on Sunday, so they don't get excited and tell the other girls. Sigh...

Okay, where is all of this anxiety of mine coming from? I'll fess up. I hate birthday parties with friends. I mean, I don't really. But I did not have luck with birthday parties as a child. I remember pictures from my 5th birthday (I think it was my 5th) in Lake Worth, Florida; and really all I remember is that I was bratty and thought that I should have everything at the party, even the guests' party toys! (Also, I was a crazily awkward little girl, and I don't think I looked very pretty in those pictures).

The pinnacle of disappointment for me with birthday parties, however, (and this is not family-only parties, which I love!) was some years later. Honestly, I don't know where we were - Connecticut, Florida? Can't remember the age, grade, or state. But, I wanted a birthday party, and I invited all of the kids in my class. I think it was at a park or something, and it would've been really fun. Instead, the number of guests that actually showed was --- you guessed it, one. (Okay, for those of you who guessed none, please don't ever tell me you guessed that, because I may faint from insecurity, UNLESS something like that happened to you, and I promise I'd take you in my arms and hold you and cry for awhile with you...)

It's okay. We made a fun day of it. I don't remember much else of the day, except that we spent some time with that girl and her family. But, only one guest actually showing. Yikes! Does it surprise anyone that I'm the most insecure correspondent ever, and that I'm completely weirded by those birthday parties my friends have where, say, 100 of their good friends show up. I don't know whether to go mute from confusion or turn green with envy.

So, I digress back to Sophie. She is so much like me, but I am hoping in the best ways. I don't think that my whole class hated me or anything. I actually doubt that I knew any of them that well. We moved quite a bit, we didn't do formal RSVP's for parents, the invites went out late, I just wasn't a popular kid, etc. Or maybe it was just the childhood of an awkward person. How terrifying it is to think that your little baby might face the same kind of rejection you once faced.

All I can say is, if Sophie continues to love others and herself the way she currently does, she'll have at least a few really good guests at her little parties. If she's anything like David and me, that will be all she needs.

Happy Birthday to You!!!

There are so many birthdays in December, I'm just going to send out a big Happy Birthday to each of you (that I can remember). This is not to replace any ecard or snail card, I send. It's just 'cause!

One of my favoritest and bestest friends is having a birthday today, December 12! Happy Birthday my little Jannah lamb! As they say in the fields, "Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Happy Birthday also to Maria-Noelle on the 14th! Kenny will be getting older on the 20th! Looking good for your age there, Kenny! (Assuming you look about the same since we saw each other last year.)

Then, this Christmas Eve, my little step-sister Nicole will be 29. (Right Shirley?) The poor dear has spent her whole life, and will have to continue to spend the remainder of her life, with a too easily overlooked birthday. But, we love her so much, and we love her taste in birthday cakes. I hope I can be there next year to partake of the 30th one.

Incidentally, Christmas Eve is also the Anniversary of the marriage of Christina and Kenny. They will be celebrating 16 happy years! Oh my gosh, you guys have been married that long? That's just weird! I've only been married 7 1/2 years. Of course, the old folks have been married longer than all of us, but it often works out that way, doesn't it. :)

I believe there are a couple of Au's I'm leaving out, but please ask them to forgive me, Jannah?

Am I missing anyone else?

Well, Happy Birthday, Snug people. We love you all and we wish we could have a cake with you. We are already indulging enough this month. What's another tasty dessert? :)

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas...

Like so many, I am full of such mixed emotions at Christmas time. Since I have kids and a desire to always make Christmas special for them and David, my biggest and foremost emotion is anxiety. That is to say, I'm anxious to plan and work and make things great. It's not completely negative.

My second emotion is excitement. You see, David and I often plan to make big, exciting purchases at Christmas, and I get almost as excited about my KitchenAid Food Processor as Sophie gets about her play kitchen or DVDs. (This year, I'm craving a Palm Tx, which we'll be saving up Christmas funds for. It's a little expensive - as in $250-$300 expensive). Of course, this excitement is coupled with materialistic covetousness, which is then added to by extreme guilt over the covetous nature I suddenly have at the most precious and would-be spiritual time of the year. Of course, those emotions are now a three-some and no longer a couple (if you ignore anxiety and craving).

Okay, so the tally so far is:
Anxiety
Excitement (often considered a simile to anxiety)
Covetous materialism, or materialistic covetousness (I think these are both terms I just made up)
Guilt

Okay, moving on. (By the way, thanks for your indulgence on my syntax and grammar.) So, the next emotion is melancholy. I have always been and always will be without someone very dear to me at the holidays. Aren't we all? When I was a child, my biggest wish at Christmas was presents. Now it's family. This is going to be a very special Christmas, because it will be the first Christmas in years since I've been able to be with my mother on Christmas Day. I'm so excited. Of course, I'll be away from my Dad and my sister and their respective families. In all families, and especially in families with divorce, being with one person or group means not being with someone else. Marriage and in-laws only compound the issue, no matter how wonderful they are and how much you love them.

I'm going to stop on the emotions, at least the negative. I could elaborate on jealousy, loneliness, frustration, stress, etc., but what a miserable Christmas we'd all have if I decided to go into one of my wordy (to state it lightly) discourses on the negative emotions connected with the holidays.

My positive emotions include hope, joy, mirth (is that an emotion, or is it more a state of being?) My greatest emotion right now is gratitude. I'm so grateful I get to be with my Mom at Christmas. I'm soooooooooooooo grateful that David is on vacation from school until January 2, and that he'll only have 6 more months of school from that point on. I'm grateful David is employed and supporting this family so well. I'm grateful that my kids are healthy and extremely gorgeous, and that I have the blessing and privilege of spending my days with two people that I love so intensely. (And then I get to see the love of my life at night). I'm grateful to be thinner this Christmas. Here's hoping I can stay thinner and lose even more after the holidays. That makes me grateful for my elliptical and American Idol, a powerful combination. :)

I'm grateful for Christmas music and decorations, even if we've yet to get all of our decorations up. I'm grateful that even though I'll be missing some people this Christmas, I'll still be able to be with family that I love very much (particularly my Mom, but also my lovely in-laws; and I really do love them all very much). Because of the circumstances, I'm especially grateful for phones, the USPS, and the internet.

I hope that my short and incomplete list not only helps some or all of you feel more grateful, but that it communicates how much you each mean to us. Life and family are about compromise, and we'll always have to compromise at the holidays. It's part of really enjoying the people we have, though (as in - not blaming them for not being someone else). But, all of you who will be far away are truly missed.

In that extremely sappy spirit, I'd like to dedicate a Christmas song to you. I'll be singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" tonight at our church Christmas party (in a VERY deep and husky, still-recovering-from-a-cold voice). I purchased and printed the original (though not first draft) version sung by Judy Garland in "Meet Me in St. Louis." (Judy will be proud of my husk!) I forgot how melancholy the piece is. "In a year, our troubles will be out of sight." "Until then, we'll just have to muddle through somehow." I love the song, but to that I say, "Phooey!" I have no intention of muddling through anything.

So, I'd like to dedicate the more popular lyrics to you all (from the Frank Sinatra version), despite my purist nature. "Through the years, we all will be together if the fates allow. Hang a shining star upon the highest bow, and have yourself a merry little Christmas now." I'm just starting the get the last word of the song - now. Not yesterday or tomorrow, but now.

Love you all and Merry Christmas!

Getting sick around the holidays...

This is certainly not a post meant to bring anyone down. It's actually a rant and a fish for empathy. Does anyone else think it's just ridiculous that at the time you are most anxious to have a good time with friends and loved ones, you are also most likely to become ill. What's that all about? I'm sitting here in my mismatched pajamas and my husband's slippers contemplating all of things I'd like to do to prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas; and I've got an icky throat and have been exhausted all day long. It hasn't been the worst day, but it's hard not to be a little bummed that I'm going to have to practice some mind over matter this Thanksgiving in order to successfully get my pies baked. Sheesh!

Okay, no more ranting. By way of an update, we're doing great. We're crazy excited about a 4 day weekend, David is almost over his sickness, Sophie is pretty much over hers, Aidan seems to be a little gunky but getting out of the woods, and I'm just dealing with a touch of a cold (so far). Inside my head I've been thinking, "Maybe this means we'll be completely healthy for December and Christmas." Would be great! Last year we were coughing lots and Aidan was Mr. Drippy at the Nose during our Christmas visit back East. He still got plenty of snuggles from loved ones, but they were having to dodge the nose quite a bit.

On the upside of things, I have the perfect excuse to snuggle up in bed with my copy of Jane Austen's Persuasion. (See included photo of the delightful birthday gift I received from a Princess friend of mine). Gee, I forgot how difficult that book was to read, and I'm marveling again at how brilliant the 1995 film is! Nick Dear must've just known the book inside and out when he sat down and penned the screenplay, because much like Sense and Sensibility, the book is not exactly brimming over with easy to adapt scenes and dialogue. It's largely descriptions of events and scenes with a brilliant quote here and there. But Dear included every perfect moment, thought, or phrase in the film. It is one of my top 5 favorite films of all time.

Back to the book, I'm definitely humbled by the difficulty of Austen's prose. Mansfield Park, my second favorite Austen, is a much easier read (though with a less rapturous ending for my taste). I always prefer when people marry out of their bloodline, and Frederick, despite his interest in Louisa, was still more constant in his feelings than Edmund was. If you've not had a chance to savour the books or the films (and are hence confused by my commentary), please consider this post a teaser and go read and watch them! (But beware of some shocking moments in Mansfield Park!) I highly recommend them, especially if you find yourself all gunky in the throat at holiday time!

We love you all and wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving Day! Despite feeling a little under the weather today, I have felt almost intoxicated with the love I have in my life. I couldn't wish for more delicious offspring and or a snuggier husband, and lately I've felt really grateful for wonderful family and friends. You all mean a lot to the Buggy Grahams!

"I think you're some kind of deviated prevert..."

It has been a crazy week, but there have been fun moments despite it all. But first, I want to wish a Happy Birthday to my cousin Luc and a Happy Anniversary to Aunt Gloria and Uncle Pete. We love you all even if it'll be awhile before we see each other.

I hope that everyone had the opportunity to vote and that at least some, if not all of your choice candidates, were successful in winning their races. I'll not discuss the folks I voted for, because though most of us actually have similar political personalities, talking politics amongst family is just not fun from my experience. :)

What is fun, however, is talking political film, especially if it includes a whole lot of quotes. Well, on election day, as I left the voting station at the elementary school and headed over to pick up Sophie from preschool, I turned on NPR, which I rarely do. The program was a radio show called Radio West, and the host was talking with a poli-sci professor and a couple of film people from the area about politically themed films. They discussed favorite political films and invited callers to phone in their ideas. If you're interested in their lists, the URL for the show and episode is the following:
http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/kuer/news/news.newsmain?action=article&ARTICLE_ID=992230&sectionID=184
I hope it works for you, because, though there was no quoting and bantering back and forth, just reading the lists of recommended films makes you nostalgic for your favorites. As I listened (with many interruptions), I was anxious to hear my favorite political film mentioned. I never heard it, so finally, I was able to call it in. Dr. Strangelove.

I will confess, on a scale of 1-10 of easy to difficult films, I would actually give DS a 6 or 7. It just takes a while to realize that everyone is kind of joking. Well, the filmmakers are joking, not the characters. As I've discussed with Dad, and as many of you might of observed, it is so similar in plot and theme to Failsafe. I checked IMDB, and it came out in the same year, and both films were based on completely different books. Obviously, one is a drama and the other is farce, and they're both great films. But, while Failsafe, which I haven't seen since I was a teenager, is just sobering and contemplative, I think that Dr. Strangelove is just chilling. As painfully funny as it is to see Slim Pickins riding a nuclear weapon with a good ol' "yeeeeeee-haaaaaw!", it is chilling to imagine that such distruction is even possible. I'm grateful to know that we have good people looking out for us, and so, I guess my thoughts are --- vote!!

Okay, no more soapbox stuff (which was completely unplanned). Instead, I want movie quotes. So, here's my invite. If you have a favorite movie quote from a politically themed film, be it funny or inspirational, please take a moment to post a comment in response to this posting (so that we may all share in the joy). I'll start by sharing my favorites (at least that I can think of for now).

Dr. Strangelove: "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room!"
"You know what I think?! I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think General Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts."
"Well, it's good that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree with you, it's great to be fine."

Dave: "Hail to the chief, he's the one we all say 'hail' to. We all say 'hail' cause he keeps himself so clean!"
"Imagine that the entire United States of America is in the car."

Wag the Dog: "There are two things I know to be true. There's no difference between good flan and bad flan, and there is no war."

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington: "No, sir,...I yielded the floor once before, if you can remember, and I was practically never heard of again. No sir. And we might as well all get together on this yielding business right off the bat, now."

"I guess this is just another lost cause, Mr. Paine."

I hope some of you find a few minutes to post a quote. Love to you all!

Drama Queen

I don't know where my kids get their dramatic nature!

This is definitely funnier in person, but I hope you'll find some humor in this. Sophie used to have the most delightful Teddy Bear that her Aunt Christina gifted her. It was tie-dyed pink, purple, and white, and his name was Dumbledore. In his left palm you could press a button, and he'd sing Brahms' lullaby to you (well, he'd play the tune). Unfortunately the most horrible thing happened last spring at a community event called the Teddy Bear picnic. You guessed it - she lost him. We searched for months, contacted the lost and found at the library (where the picnic was), and we finally gave up the fight. Yes, even in Utah things will be stolen. I can't really believe a parent would allow their child to go home with someone else's Teddy Bear, but that's what appears to have happened.

Well, we went to the Build-A-Bear workshop and got a new bear that she also named Dumbledore. He's a beautiful bear, though I confess that the old Dumbledore was cooler, especially since "he" (the original) was designed to be a "she." Still, Sophie has been pleased with Dumbledore II.

Now, I have the most delightful digital piano with many tunes programmed into it, including Brahms' lullaby. Sophie loves to play the various tunes. So, the other day, a new acting exercise started. (I'm trying to be sensitive to tender feelings, but I'm an actress, and I know an acting exercise when I see one). Sophie is at the piano while I'm at the computer, and she plays the Brahms lullaby and points out to me that it's the tune the old Dumbledore used to play (forget the fact that the new Dumbledore and Aidan's stuffed monkey, George, also play the tune). Suddenly I hear the unmistakable sound of keening. She begins with a low moan and the sound crescendos into this passionate weep. I reach out to her, and she lets me hold her for a few minutes. Then she returns to the piano, catharsis complete.

Today, I'm sitting at the computer setting up this blog when I hear Brahms' lullaby followed by the same sound. Yes, keening. If you don't know what it is, you should look it up. It's something the Irish do when they're mourning. I only wish you could see the tears budding in the corners of her squinting eyes as she does this.

Really, I think I'm a decent actress. But, she's good.

Hello.

This is delightful!

Thank you for the invitation to Blog with you. ;)

Welcome to our blog!

I hate to be trendy, but I've loved reading my friend's blog from time to time, and I thought this might be a more usable alternative to the old website to help us stay in touch (until/unless something better comes along).

So, I'll start with Halloween. Sophie and David decided that she would dress up as The Corpse Bride (see Tim Burton film of that name). She was just darling.

We almost decided to make Aidan a fireman, and we got him a very cute, happily inexpensive costume, but it occured to me that he would probably not be dressing up as furry animals much longer, so we stuck with original plan - a giraffe. Was it worth it? If you think he's cute in the picture, imagine picking him up and snuggling him. Very fun!

David and I did the typical "we probably won't dress up and so let's focus ont he kids" thing, which was then followed by the "gee, Halloween is tomorrow and it would be disappointing to not dress up" thing. Anyway, we ended dressing up as Spike and Dru from the Buffy TV series. Unfortunately, with how hectic everything was that evening, we did not take photos. But we were at least as attractive as they were. (I think we were. :) Also, I got some really great new skirts from the whole "shopping for Dru-ish clothing. Love that!

Well, that's it for now, but I love the idea of sharing tidbits and photos from our family without tying up everyone's servers and inboxes. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do.